5 hilarious situations for migrants in Mumbai

5 hilarious situations that migrants coming to Bombay face while interacting with the locals:

So you are not a Bombayite huh? Worse, you are a Delhite! God be with you. Migrants coming into this city of dreams called Bombay come with stars in their eyes and grit in their determination to survive this mad lovable city.

1.     “Kidhar se aya?”

The question that scares you! As if that if you are not from Maharashtra then you are an alien. If your mannerisms and your accent is even the slightest bit out of sync with the locals, you become vulnerable to getting singled out. Start taking Bambaiya lessons from your local ‘taporis’.

2.      “Tu akela hai?”

The rental accommodation market is probably the only place where a handsome eligible bachelor is most unwanted. Girls are fortunately spared that situation. A single male spells trouble for the neighbourhood chhokris!

3.      “Chalta hai kya chikane?”

The most horrible "pick-up" line used by trans-genders to rake out some moolah from young ‘nice’ men who look like they have come from out of the city.. Have you experienced it yet! J

4.      “Bhaiya mat bolo!”

Girls beware of the word Bhaiya! It manages to raise the hackles of all the bhaisahabs. Any localite worth his salt will give it back to you, gently or harshly, if you call him bhaiya. So alternatively try dada, mama, kaka and what works best is Sir! Try it.

5.      “Shahrukh khan ka bangla dekha?”

Shahrukh Khan’s bungalow is a local picnic spot and people throng to click pics with the nameplate of his heavenly abode Mannat. And if you haven’t seen his bungalow within 6 months of your arriving here then it is sacrilegious! Try to make a conversation in the train and show that you are a Bollywood fan, this is what you’ll get asked for sure. 

Have you experienced this yet? What has been your funny experience. Readers please take it in the same vein as intended.. i.e. lightly. Post your comments and experiences below. 

5 things to keep in mind while choosing your Flat and Flatmate.

Moving into a new city comes with its share of excitement as well as anxiety. Finding a roof over your head is that luxury that we wish to achieve with the least possible trouble. This very desire pushes us to sometimes take hasty decisions which ultimately ruin our entire perception of the city.

If, on the other hand, you keep certain simple yet significant points in mind, your migration process into your adopted city/ town can be very smooth and pleasant.

Here are 5 points to ponder over while taking possession of your paradise:

1. How safe is your neighbourhood?

Avoid empty lanes, specially if you return home late from work. Check the security arrangement of the society. The exact location of the proposed flat also plays an important role. If it is on ground floor, you need to check for extra security measures undertaken by the owner of the property. Try scheduling a flat visit late in teh evening to see the kind of activities in the society. If it is a nice lively ambiance, it should be a safe bet.

 

2. Are you trying to save on brokerage?
 At times, saving on brokerage may end up being a costly affair. A reliable or referred broker provides much-required services that we may not have the time to perform. There are higher chances of getting deceived by the direct-approach method.

Broker services

3. Who is your Flatmate?

A very important check is to be performed on your Flatmate and I don't mean to spend the entire day stalking him or her! That would make you dangerous. But a face-to-face meeting with your potential flatmate is a must. We do have certain 'basic instincts' that can either warn us or warm us up! If face-to-face not possible, then try to get on a VC.

Make sure its not this crazy guy!

4. Who is your Landlord?

Don't go by the numbering.. it is random. Knowing your landlord is very important. And this you'll best come to know through an existing Flatmate or maybe your future neighbours or an ex-occupant of the Flat. I have seen posts on my Facebook community 'Flats and Flatmates (Mumbai) which recount horrors of unruly and unapologetic Landlords. There were those who used to invite themselves over for dinner with you or just walk in when you are alone to inspect the house. One lady Landlord threw the poor tenant out at night because she got anotehr one who was paying her Rs. 5000 more!

Mr. Sleaze Personified

5. Distance from workplace

This is a very significant point as we all know that daily commute in metro cities can be quite   
unpleasant. Even if you end up paying a bit more in terms of rent, at least you'll enjoy the convenience of a nearby location.

Long commutes 

So just keep in mind these basic rules while selecting your flat or flatmate. You won't regret this little extra effort. Of course, the agreement part comes in the next post! :)