5 hilarious situations for migrants in Mumbai

5 hilarious situations that migrants coming to Bombay face while interacting with the locals:

So you are not a Bombayite huh? Worse, you are a Delhite! God be with you. Migrants coming into this city of dreams called Bombay come with stars in their eyes and grit in their determination to survive this mad lovable city.

1.     “Kidhar se aya?”

The question that scares you! As if that if you are not from Maharashtra then you are an alien. If your mannerisms and your accent is even the slightest bit out of sync with the locals, you become vulnerable to getting singled out. Start taking Bambaiya lessons from your local ‘taporis’.

2.      “Tu akela hai?”

The rental accommodation market is probably the only place where a handsome eligible bachelor is most unwanted. Girls are fortunately spared that situation. A single male spells trouble for the neighbourhood chhokris!

3.      “Chalta hai kya chikane?”

The most horrible "pick-up" line used by trans-genders to rake out some moolah from young ‘nice’ men who look like they have come from out of the city.. Have you experienced it yet! J

4.      “Bhaiya mat bolo!”

Girls beware of the word Bhaiya! It manages to raise the hackles of all the bhaisahabs. Any localite worth his salt will give it back to you, gently or harshly, if you call him bhaiya. So alternatively try dada, mama, kaka and what works best is Sir! Try it.

5.      “Shahrukh khan ka bangla dekha?”

Shahrukh Khan’s bungalow is a local picnic spot and people throng to click pics with the nameplate of his heavenly abode Mannat. And if you haven’t seen his bungalow within 6 months of your arriving here then it is sacrilegious! Try to make a conversation in the train and show that you are a Bollywood fan, this is what you’ll get asked for sure. 

Have you experienced this yet? What has been your funny experience. Readers please take it in the same vein as intended.. i.e. lightly. Post your comments and experiences below. 

Idiot's guide to survive cashless - Give up 500/1000 notes

So the man has done it! Congratulations to Mr. Modi for a historic step towards corruption-free and safe governance. You have to hand it to him.. He has taken this step in the interest of the nation without worrying about how it'll affect his popularity and completely shunned votebank politics. This, at least, deserves a salute!

The night we received the news that 500 and 1000 rupee notes have been banned, it was like everyone's thinking processes overshot. Some headed to the banks.. of various rivers the others went out shopping for tickets to nowhereland and gold while still others were left befuddled. It made us realise that the circulation of 500 and 1000 rupee notes had become so common that the overnight demonetisation step felt like a bolt of lightening! But these past few days have taught me that it is indeed quite possible to live without the darling denominations! Here is my take:

1. Do not shun digital banking: If you have been avoiding the usage of banking apps and websites, now is the time to get started! At first it does present itself as a task but it eases your life a great deal. Life becomes so much easier when you take finances in your control.. completely! Remember to keep your username and password safe like for any other digital account.

  2. Use digital wallets: PayTM, Mobikwik and Freecharge are some of the popular mobile wallets. Their usage has been increasing day-by-day as they bring in more and more service providers under their umbrella. You cannot escape them. They fill in the gap where organised markets are missing. You will soon be able to pay your several 'walas' - rickshawala, bhajiwala, taxiwala, doodhwala - through digital wallets. With an array of discounts, coupons and cashback offers, they make perfect sense now. 

3. Use your plastic cards: If you have horror of the plastic, take part in your own version of Fear Factor and take the plunge. The convenience that it offers is worth getting over your fear. BUT, you have to use it prudently. Apply for a card with low credit limit. Be careful with your passwords, link it with your bank accounts, do not store any sensitive data on the phone - these are some precautionary measures to be taken.

4. Hoard some Chhutta: I know it is difficult but keep small change handy. It is very useful. Hoard it a bit and it'll be of use to you at the most unexpected moments.

5. Use common sense: With cash in hand, we feel rich and want to spend up everything specially if we are on a hot date! Now impress your girlfriend/ boyfriend by showing how digi-savvy you are. Cut down on unnecessary spending and use your money wisely! 

5 things to keep in mind while choosing your Flat and Flatmate.

Moving into a new city comes with its share of excitement as well as anxiety. Finding a roof over your head is that luxury that we wish to achieve with the least possible trouble. This very desire pushes us to sometimes take hasty decisions which ultimately ruin our entire perception of the city.

If, on the other hand, you keep certain simple yet significant points in mind, your migration process into your adopted city/ town can be very smooth and pleasant.

Here are 5 points to ponder over while taking possession of your paradise:

1. How safe is your neighbourhood?

Avoid empty lanes, specially if you return home late from work. Check the security arrangement of the society. The exact location of the proposed flat also plays an important role. If it is on ground floor, you need to check for extra security measures undertaken by the owner of the property. Try scheduling a flat visit late in teh evening to see the kind of activities in the society. If it is a nice lively ambiance, it should be a safe bet.

 

2. Are you trying to save on brokerage?
 At times, saving on brokerage may end up being a costly affair. A reliable or referred broker provides much-required services that we may not have the time to perform. There are higher chances of getting deceived by the direct-approach method.

Broker services

3. Who is your Flatmate?

A very important check is to be performed on your Flatmate and I don't mean to spend the entire day stalking him or her! That would make you dangerous. But a face-to-face meeting with your potential flatmate is a must. We do have certain 'basic instincts' that can either warn us or warm us up! If face-to-face not possible, then try to get on a VC.

Make sure its not this crazy guy!

4. Who is your Landlord?

Don't go by the numbering.. it is random. Knowing your landlord is very important. And this you'll best come to know through an existing Flatmate or maybe your future neighbours or an ex-occupant of the Flat. I have seen posts on my Facebook community 'Flats and Flatmates (Mumbai) which recount horrors of unruly and unapologetic Landlords. There were those who used to invite themselves over for dinner with you or just walk in when you are alone to inspect the house. One lady Landlord threw the poor tenant out at night because she got anotehr one who was paying her Rs. 5000 more!

Mr. Sleaze Personified

5. Distance from workplace

This is a very significant point as we all know that daily commute in metro cities can be quite   
unpleasant. Even if you end up paying a bit more in terms of rent, at least you'll enjoy the convenience of a nearby location.

Long commutes 

So just keep in mind these basic rules while selecting your flat or flatmate. You won't regret this little extra effort. Of course, the agreement part comes in the next post! :)

Launch of Flatsandmates.com

So it has finally launched! 

www.flatsandmates.com

Launching a venture is even more gruelling than having a baby! Believe me I have had the pleasure of experiencing both. There are too many external factors that we have to depend on to translate your vision into reality. But the fruit of waiting is always sweet though you may have some bitter moments in the interim. 

JOURNEY

 

Flatsandmates.com is a journey that began in 2012. A colleague was shifting to Delhi and she was worried about her accommodation. Well, there are many cliches that we Bombayites have heard about Delhi so it is natural to be concerned. So there she was trying to use the power of her offline network but it wasn't working. Then one fine day, as we were talking, she announced that she found the perfect flat with a nearly perfect flatmate and that too without brokerage! We were happy for her but I thought that here is one lucky girl who has some guardian angel in Delhi. Not everyone can get this lucky. But, in fact, she told me that it wasn't her offline network but rather social media network that helped her get this deal. 

Now I was really curious. Does this really work? Linking it to my situation, my family has some properties and when we want to rent them out, it is a big ordeal to find good tenants. Moreover, we have to pay hefty brokerage. Thus I decided to try this out and created the Flats and Flatmates (Mumbai) group. I added my family and friends and it started out as a small group of some 100 members. But within just a month the group went from 100 to 1000! That is when I was sure it works. Here was a novel concept of getting people together. It was based on trust, mutual interest of economising, genuine need and quick solution. 

After two and a half years, it was a natural progression to create my own website. The gestation period was far from enjoyable but to see my baby taking shape little by little was enough to keep me going. The building up process lasted more than a year but I am so happy to have finally delivered a healthy bouncing second baby! 

HOW IT WORKS

If you have a place to rent or if you are looking for a place on rent, just place a free advert on the website and easily share via Facebook or WhatsApp. You can get in direct touch with your respondents. The website has additional features like Move Out Sale, Buddy Chat, a personalised Dashboard where you can send and receive Enquiries. Unlike the Facebook community that is strictly for those looking for broker-free options, the website welcomes Real Estate Agents. Yes, all said and done, estate agents are useful during times of urgency. 

So keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best!

 

 

Do we really need all that furniture?

Clutter-free living

Life comes with excess baggage.. Literally! :). A few days ago my friend Zina was trying to clean out her house. Her parents were coming for a visit and she wanted to create some space to accommodate them comfortably.. She asked for help and I obliged.. (Yes, obliged is the word!.. well agreeing to help out in house-cleaning is a big act of selflessness! :)). In the beginning of the task we decided that whatever she feels she needs to chuck out would go in one corner and then at the end of the mega-cleaning and rearranging session she would take a final call. So we attacked the house with a vengeance.. and gradually the dedicated corner was bursting to the capacity full of knick-knacks gathered over a period of 5 years that she was staying in Mumbai. Quite happy to have finally made that pile, she looked around the house and was surprised to see that her place actually had a good amount of space! We both felt that the rooms got literally lighter, airier and well.. roomier :)..She was so delighted with the outcome of our task that she decided to treat me with a yummy cheesy pizza. As we were waiting for the order and chatting up, her eyes kept returning to the pile... Then in the middle of the conversation, she got up and picked out a rickety chair and exclaimed that she couldn't actually part with it as it was special to her - the first act of kindness that a neighbour had done by donating this chair to her at the beginning of her life in Mumbai! Behind the chair was a simple 4-legged multipurpose table which was immediately pulled out. She said she couldn't even think of parting with it as it was her grandmother's and she had especially got it delivered from her native town. Well it was put back in its rightful place... under a humungous pile of books that Zina had purchased, borrowed, received over time. Next came the little teapoy that she used to keep by her sofa covered in...dust! Gradually most of the things that she had earlier thought she can do without became absolute essentials for her afterwards. I got so mad at her for cheating me that I left without her freakin' pizza!

As I was driving back to my place consumed by murderous thoughts for Zina after all the hardwork we put in moving all that stuff and rearranging the furniture, it struck me..Isn't it exactly the same with emotional excess baggage too? We just can't let go... especially of stuff that has hurt us. We can recall every negative emotion that we have felt and refelt quite vividly. We clutter our mind and our hearts with the all-consuming "I should have done like this.. I should have done that.. I will now take my revenge like this..I will destroy him/ her like that.. Nobody loves me", etc...so much of negative thoughts, feelings and emotions! But we do not realise that all this wasted space can be used to make life easy, simple, hassle-free and above all HAPPY! I forgave my friend and went back to eat my pizza! See happy ending